Helpless Title: Helpless
Pairings: Spike/Xander, Buffy/Willow (and combinations of these four)
Rating: NC-17, overall
Summary: Sequel to Up a Tree and Like a Kitten. The further adventures of Spike and Xander.
Spoilers: Through the end of season 6. Whatever has happened in season 7, hasn't!
Disclaimer: No, they aren't mine. I just like to play with them.
Feedback: Good for my soul and writer's block
Archive: Want, take, have.
Notes: About three weeks after the end of Like a Kitten. There will eventually be m/m, f/f and het pairings in this. If any of it offends you, please don't read.

"What the hell?" Xander was sitting in front of the computer and all he could think of was the Monopoly™ card that reads 'Bank Error in your favor, collect $50,' but this was WAY more than $50! Daisy, Spike's snake, decided that just then was the perfect time to wind her way around Xander's leg. "Spike!! Would you please come and get your snake? I'm trying to work out what the hell is going on with my bank account."

Spike smiled and stood. Earlier he had been looking for Daisy. That morning he had cleaned out her terrarium and she had wandered off. He knew she would wrap herself around Xander at some point, he being the warmest thing in the apartment. Both the snake and the vampire enjoyed wrapping themselves around the human, gleaning as much heat as they could. "What's wrong with the bank, Luv," he asked as he untangled Daisy from Xander's leg.

"Too much money," Xander sighed, rubbing his temples. "I mean, I know I'm not the best at balancing my checkbook, but I think I would have remembered a deposit for $50,000." He looked back and forth from the computer screen and the bank statement that had just come in the mail. "And what the hell does this mean? 'Transfer from Bank X for the account of a client'? What the hell is Bank X and who is this so-called client?"

"Luv, are you mad about the money or the fact that you don't know where it came from," Spike asked nervously. 'It wasn't supposed to be like this. He wasn't supposed to get mad about the money,' he thought.

Xander sighed and ran his fingers through his hair. "Mostly that I don't know where it came from. I mean, it's fifty THOUSAND dollars! It's got to be a mistake. There's no way that this money should be in my account."

Spike cursed himself for not realizing that his mate wouldn't just take an anonymous transfer to his account. Now he would have to explain. "Xan, Luv, the money is in the right account. I put it there." He waited for the explosion that would surely come from Xander. When it didn't, he continued, "I closed out one of my Swiss accounts and transferred the money to your account last month."

"One of…" Xander's jaw dropped. "OK, my undead boyfriend, first, just how many accounts do you have? Second, how did you come by all this money? And third, why are you giving it to me?"

Spike placed a light kiss on Daisy as he set her back in the terrarium. He turned back to Xander, "Three in Switzerland and four more in the Caymans. The one I just closed was the money I had as a human, plus over a century of interest and wise investments. And I gave it to you because I felt bad about you spending your money on me." He avoided looking in Xander's eyes for long moments. Finally, he looked up, "Are you mad at me?"

"Not really. Just…" Xander paused. "Why didn't you tell me? And come to think of it… why did you used to beg money and blood off us for so long?"

Spike visibly relaxed and let a wry smile cross his lips. "Well, Luv, I had to fight a bit to get Dru off the accounts. She may not be all there, but she does have moments of lucidity where she would have remembered the money and drained them dry like a boy on prom night." He looked in Xander's eyes. "I don't know why I didn't tell you. I guess I just hoped that you would accept it." Xander gave him a look that said, 'You have got to be kidding me.' "I know," he laughed. "I know. I wasn't thinking. I just… I feel…"

Spike paused, unable to find the right words. "Tell me," Xander prompted. "How do you feel? 'Cause, you look sad, almost lost. Tell me, please." Spike sat in the chair next to Xander's and leaned his head on the warm shoulder.

"Dunno, Pet. I guess… yeah, 'm sad and a little lost. Mostly though… I feel kind of… helpless." The word was said so quietly that Xander barely heard it. "Guilty, definitely guilty. My soul doesn't torment me too much, but occasionally, I have these moments that I realize that I have been a horrible person. A bloody fantastic demon, but a horrible person." He sighed. "You just treat me so well. You love me despite… or possibly because of… everything that I've done. I love you too and this was the best way I knew how to show it. With Dru it was easy to prove I loved her. Dolls, dresses and massacres and she knew I loved her."

"But I'm not Dru and you don't know how to show me," Xander said gently. "Don't you know that you show me all the time?" Spike shook his head and avoided looking in his eyes. "Look at me, hon," he said, tilting Spike's chin toward him. "Every kiss, every touch, every time you laugh at one of my stupid jokes… all those things show me that you love me. You don't have to give me your money to prove that."

"So you don't want the money?"

"I didn't say that, did I," he laughed. "We just have to set a few ground rules for it." Spike looked at him with questioning eyes. "OK, first off, I don't want any money going to this account that came from over a century of death, destruction and looting of bodies." Spike just nodded. "How much more do you have that came from when you were alive?"

He thought for a moment, mentally sorting the accounts, "One more in Switzerland and two of the Cayman accounts. Not sure of the totals, Luv."

"That's alright. What we have so far is plenty for quite a while. We'll have a fine time spending it, though, won't we," he said with a wink. "We can get stuff for the girls."

"Right, Luv," Spike smiled. "We can get the new couple a few toys for the bedroom… maybe even something for the Bit."

Xander cringed, "I refuse to buy sex toys for Dawnie. She's a sweet innocent child and she always will be, I don't care what anyone says." They both laughed, making plans for what to buy for the three women in their lives. Their planning was interrupted by a knock at the door. Xander looked through the peephole in the door and saw Buffy and Willow. "Speak of the little devils," he said opening the door for the couple.

"See, I knew they were talking about us," Buffy commented to Willow as she kissed Xander's cheek and walked over to do the same to Spike.

"Umm, Buffy," Spike said warily. "As much as I appreciate this show of affection, what's up?"

Buffy glanced at Willow. Willow nodded, "Right. See, we have a proposition for you two."

Part 2

"OK, explain this again," Xander sighed. "I'm hearing and understanding the words, but I don't quite follow." They were all sitting around the dining room table, drinking coffee.

Spike smirked at his mate. "Luv, face it. The Slayer here, has an itch she wants scratched. Red isn't built to scratch it. They want one or both of us to do the scratching." The men looked at each other, trying to judge each other's reactions. Without taking his eyes off his mate, Spike said in a serious tone, "We're gonna have to talk about this, Buffy. All four of us."

"We figured as much," she replied.

"Yeah, guys," Willow chimed in. "We definitely need to talk it out. See, we don't want any jealousy in any of our relationships, romantic or otherwise. If we do this, we all have to agree on it. We figured that, at least the first time, would have to be all of us. Four bodies in one bed, all doing what we do." She blushed slightly. "OK, I really have to get over the whole blushing issue if I'm going to see you guys naked."

Everyone laughed hard. When they finally calmed down a bit, Buffy spoke up, "Alright, now, just because I feel the need for dick sometimes, doesn't mean that I love Willow any less, and of course, if you guys agree, it won't mean that you love each other any less either. That said, does anyone *not* want to go through with this? Speak now, no hard feelings."

Xander looked from Willow to Buffy to Spike. His three best friends, one of who is his boyfriend, his mate. "Umm, Spike, can we talk about this in private for a minute? You girls don't mind, do you?" They waved them away and sat back to drink their coffee. Spike and Xander went to the bedroom and sat on the bed. "OK, I want to know what you think about this."

He thought for a moment, "Well, I'm not jumping up and down at the offer, but it would be fun and it is a bit of a turn on. It's a turn on for you too, I can tell," Spike said, tapping the side of his nose. "The Slayer is great in the sack and I'd bet Red is just as fiery as her hair." He smirked as his love bit back a moan. "So, that's a yes, Luv?"

Xander nodded. "Of course," he said nervously, "I want to add a few things to the agreement with them. Like, I want to just watch sometimes and just be watched. Think they'll go for it?"

Spike looked at his lover in awe. 'Why didn't I think of that,' he thought. "You're bloody brilliant, Xan. Do I ever tell you that?" Xander shook his head and looked at the floor. "Merely an oversight, Pet. You are." He got kneeled on the floor in front of the dark-haired man and lightly rubbed his thighs. "You're brilliant and beautiful and I love you. Now, let's go tell the Slayer and the witch we'll shag them silly."

Xander stood and pulled his vampire to his feet. "They already are silly," he laughed.

"Right, ladies," Spike spoke, re-entering the dining room. "We have a couple of things to add to this little arrangement of ours." He sat down at the table, tilted his head slightly and waited. Getting frustrated with his pause, Buffy finally rolled her eyes and asked what the additions were. "Well, we want the option to just watch and be watched."

Willow looked at Xander, whose face was turning an interesting shade of pink. "What do you mean by 'watch,'" she asked. She had a pretty good idea what Spike meant, but she had directed her question to Xander, wanting to hear the explanation from her oldest and best friend. "Xander?"

He took a deep, cleansing breath, "Well, I would definitely like to watch you two together, I mean, two hot women that I used to lust after getting' it on? Big yes on that one! And, umm… at some point, I want you two to watch us." He blushed a little more. "Just the idea of someone watching us is a turn on." He cleared his throat, "I also want to watch the three of you together. Of course, if anyone wants to sit out and watch the rest of us, that would be cool with me too. We are still all in the same room, doing what we do. Masturbation is still participating," he finished with a wink at Spike.

"Ummm… did it just get warmer in here," Buffy asked, fanning herself with her hand and smiling. Willow nodded, squirming a little in her chair. "Yeah, your additions sound good. Really good. Can we… wow, images… can we start now?"

Part 3

Wordlessly, Spike winked at Xander, stood and sauntered over to Willow. He felt a connection to the witch, but was unsure why. His cool fingers played down her cheek and neck. "You ready for this, Red," he purred, mouth close to her ear. She swallowed hard and nodded as his hand slipped lower, inside her blouse, to cup her breast. "I know you haven't been with a man in a while, Pet. Tell me what you want me to do to you." He flicked his tongue out and barely licked her ear. She shivered.

Xander also stood and walked to Buffy, his demeanor reminiscent of his hyena days. He stood behind her chair, carded his fingers through her hair and kissed lightly along the column of her neck. Buffy moaned at the soft lips nibbling at her throat as she watched her girlfriend and her former lover touching. "Turns you on to see them like that, doesn't it," Xander asked. He brought his other hand down to caress her breast through her shirt.

Spike moved around and kneeled in front of Willow and pushed her blouse up and off, exposing her pert breasts. She moaned breathlessly as he gently sucked on a rosy, pink nipple. "Goddess, Spike," she breathed. "That feels *so* good." Willow ran her fingers through the short, bleached locks, pulling Spike closer. "Oh, I want… want to…" her breath hitched, "To feel you inside me."

"They're gorgeous together, Xand," Buffy breathed, pulling his face to hers and kissing him passionately. "Mmm… you taste good. Want you to fuck me, Xander." He pulled her up and started backing her to the bedroom, kissing her fiercely. "Wills…" she giggled and thought, 'Willow and William… hee hee… Wills.' "Willow, Spike… you two gonna join us in the bedroom?" She then yelped and laughed as Xander picked her up, wrapping her legs around his waist and pushed her back against the door.

"Spike, grab your girl and get your undead ass in here," Xander called over his shoulder as he opened the door and almost fell through. Instead of falling, he used the forward momentum to carry Buffy to the bed and toss her onto the soft mattress. He pulled his shirt off before following her. Buffy kicked off her shoes as Xander crawled up her body. He pushed her shirt off as he straddled her hips. "Glad you wore a front-close bra, Buff," he smirked as he unclasped the lacy white bra. She moaned as he dove for her nipples, taking one between his fingers and the other between his teeth, tugging and biting gently. He felt the bed dip as Spike gently laid Willow down next to Buffy.

Spike and Xander's actions mirrored each other, as if they were one mind. Both nibbled and sucked down the females' bodies, fingers unfastening jeans as tongues dipped into bellybuttons. They simultaneously stripped the girls of their remaining clothes and dropped them to the floor at the foot of the bed. Each man ran one hand along a bare thigh as they briefly reached for each other to steal a quick kiss before returning to their naked, waiting women.

Xander suddenly realized that being mated to Spike, he no longer kept condoms in the apartment. "Buffy, did you happen to bring any condoms with you? I mean, I love you gorgeous ladies and all, but I don't want to be the cause of Preggy Buffy or Preggy Willow."

"Yeah, out in my jacket pocket," Buffy breathed. "Mmm… hurry back."

Spike parted Willow's legs and slowly kissed and licked from her ankle to the juncture of her thighs. He breathed in her scent, but carefully avoided her dripping heat as he repeated his actions on her other leg. Buffy and Willow kissed as Spike worked his 'magic' on the witch and Xander went to retrieve the condoms. When he returned to the bedroom, his cock twitched at the sight before him. Spike, his love, his mate, had his head between Willow's thighs, and by the way she was moaning and writhing on the bed, his tongue was doing very wicked, wonderful things to the redhead. Buffy was also moaning and writhing. Spike's fingers were buried deep in her dripping pussy.

"Shove over, Spike," Xander said, gently stroking Buffy's thigh. Spike removed his hand and concentrated on Willow. Buffy whimpered at the loss of the long, cool fingers. Her frustration was short lived as Xander shucked his jeans and boxers and crawled up her body. He suckled at her breasts and teased his fingers around her swollen heat. "Mmm… You're so wet, Buffy. You want me to fuck you? You want it now?"

Buffy gasped and moaned under Xander's ministrations. "Oh, Gods, Xander… yeah, fuck me. I want to feel your hard dick inside me." Her hips thrust up into his hand. "Please, Xand," she panted. "Please."

"Patience," he murmured around one hard nipple. He quickly opened the condom and slid it on his aching shaft. Shifting up enough to plunder Buffy's mouth with his own, he placed the tip of his cock at her entrance. Xander pushed in, torturously slow. Buffy tried very hard to control herself and not thrust up. She failed. With one quick thrust, she had Xander fully sheathed in her hot, quivering sex. He groaned long and low at the sensation. "Buffy," he panted as he slowly started thrusting. "So hot… so wet…"

Spike licked and sucked and nipped at Willow's clit until she screamed out her orgasm. As her shuddering slowed, Spike quickly pulled off his jeans, then laid down on the bed between Buffy and Willow, pulling the redhead on top of his pale, cool body. "Ride me, Red," he panted, shifting under her to place his weeping cock at her dripping velvet folds. With a sharp intake of breath, Willow sank down on the cool, throbbing member. They both gasped at the sensation of cool, hard flesh being surrounded by moist, soft heat.

After a few seconds of adjustment, Willow rose slowly, then sharply thrust back down. Spike met each thrust with one of his own. They had quickly built up to a frantic rhythm, until the redhead exploded into another intense orgasm. "Bloody Hell, pet," Spike moaned, still thrusting as Willow's muscles clenched and unclenched around him, milking his cock. "Mmm… aahh… Let me cum on your beautiful breasts, luv." She let him pull out, then slid down his body and took his cock in her mouth. Willow sucked ferociously, until she felt Spike's entire body tense with the need to release. Lifting up, she stroked him to completion. She angled his pulsing cock to her breasts. He shot his cool, milky seed all over her breasts, letting it drip from her hard, rosy nipples.

The witch and the vampire collapsed into each other, then glanced at their respective mates. Buffy was panting, causing her breasts to heave. Xander was languidly pumping in and out of the Slayer's quivering pussy. Willow whispered to Spike, "Don't they look so hot? Makes me want to join in. What about you?" Spike just nodded, still staring at his mate and his former lover. Willow climbed off Spike and straddled Buffy's head, facing Xander. Buffy darted her tongue out and curled it around her girlfriend's swollen clit. Spike lay down behind Xander and spread the brunette's cheeks. He darted his tongue out to lick the tight entrance of his mate. Xander moaned appreciatively and thrust harder into Buffy. Buffy moaned into Willow's dripping cunt and Willow gasped.

Spike loved the reaction he was getting from the entire group and repeated his actions. He continued to work Xander's ring of muscle, relaxing it, until he was able to slide four fingers in and out with ease. Kneeling up behind Xander, Spike pushed in as his mate pulled out of the Slayer. Xander moaned around the nipple that he was worrying, licking the vampire's cum off it as he went. Spike let his lover set the pace until Xander started to falter from the intense sensations. The vampire thrust inside the man, who thrust inside the Slayer. Her hips rose to meet the man's thrusts, while her tongue swept inside the witch's folds. The redhead ground down on her lover's tongue as she moaned and grasped both vampire and man. Willow came first, a flood of wetness hitting Buffy's tongue, pushing her over the edge. Buffy's came, arching off the bed, her inner walls clenching around Xander's cock. Her muscles milked him and drew out his orgasm, which caused his entire body to tense. Spike was the last to cum, being drawn in by the grasping of Xander's tight hole. As everyone collapsed onto the bed and each other, Xander pulled out of Buffy and quickly removed the condom, tossing it into the trash. They heaved a collective sigh and fell asleep in a mass of sated flesh.

Part 4

Spike and Willow stayed at Buffy's house while Buffy, Dawn and Xander went and fought the latest evil. It was daytime, so Spike couldn't help and the demon, a Pozzkij demon, could knock witches unconscious with their voices, so it was best that Willow stayed away as well. "Do you ever feel totally useless, Spike? I feel so useless. Worse than that, I feel like a burden."

Spike knew exactly how Willow felt. Every time Xander went to fight some demon during the day, he felt useless. Every time they went out somewhere and were a little too affectionate in front of the wrong group of humans, he felt helpless. Every time special accommodations had to be made because of the sun or crosses or any number of things, he felt like a burden. He remembered his awful poetry and love for the unattainable Cecily, remembered the uselessness and hopelessness he felt that led to his turning. Later, a microchip and love for yet another unattainable woman and the helpless, hopeless, useless feelings that led to getting his soul back.

Now, here he was again, cowering inside while his mate, the Slayer and a former energy ball went out in the sun to fight a demon that could very likely kill them. He felt helpless, useless. Spike knew exactly how Willow felt, but words failed him in his worry for the people he loved. He looked at the witch with sad eyes and just nodded.

"What if something happens to them? We won't know for hours," Willow said, starting to panic. "I mean, the Pozzkij could hurt them and I can't go out to look for them and you can't go until the sun sets. Spike? What are we going to do?"

Spike shushed Willow, wrapping his arms around her shaking form. "Hush, Red. It's only been an hour. Xan has his mobile on him and he promised to call with news." He kissed the top of her head, then moved them to sit on the sofa. Spike switched on the television and they both stared at the screen, but neither really watched. They leaned into each other, relishing the support gained from their friendship.


Spike was startled awake by his phone ringing. He checked the caller ID and it registered Xander's cell phone. "Luv, how'd things go? You kill the nasty?" The vampire tried his best to sound calm, hoping to fool both Xander and Willow.

"Nasty's dead and melty, but don't you think Xander will get jealous with you calling me Luv," Dawn giggled into the phone.

"Funny, Bit," Spike growled. "Now, if you would please put my boyfriend on, I'd be very happy." He put his hand over the phone and spoke to Willow. "Demon's dead and Nibblet's toying with me." She nodded and went to the kitchen for a glass of water. Spike waited until he heard his mate's voice lilt through the ear-piece of the phone. "Xan, Luv, how did it go? Anyone hurt too bad?"

"It went great! Get this, seems the only way for a Pozzkij demon to be killed is to be hugged by a virgin. It's a good thing you terrify all of Dawnie's dates so much that he barely gets kissed. We'll tell you and Wills all about it when we get there. Should be about a half an hour, love." The Xander-babble was amazing. Obviously four cups of coffee and an iced mochacchino was a little too much for one morning. "I love you. See you in a bit."

"Bye, Luv!" Willow chose just then to walk back into the room. "They should be here in half an hour, Red. Apparently the Bit got the beastie," Spike sighed. Hearing that news, both vampire and witch felt even more helpless. Relieved, but helpless.


"It was so cool! I jumped on its back and wrapped my arms around its chest, just to hold it still for a second," Dawn bounced as she told her story.

"And I told you to stay out of the way and behind Clem…" Buffy interrupted.

"Yeah, yeah, but you have to admit, when the Pozzkij started screaming and melting into a big puddle of pink and green goo, it was pretty cool!" She beamed, while Buffy and Xander nodded and smiled.

"OK, so the thing started screaming and melting," Willow started. "How did you know it died because of you being a virgin?"

"Oh, Clem told us." Dawn couldn't help but be proud that her own personal morals about teen sex saved the day. "He knows a lot about that demon. I think his cousin married one. Anyway, when the sucker got all melty, it just sorta hit him. Of course, now he knows I'm a virgin. I swear, if it gets out in the demon community that the Slayer's little sister has pure, innocent blood, I'm gonna have to have a little chat with a certain loose-skinned, floppy-eared demon," she laughed.

"Not too many worries about that, Nibblet. Clem doesn't really have that many friends. Imagine, a sweet, good-hearted guy like that and people don't want to hang out with the bloke, jus' 'cause he has a little extra skin."

"Yeah, people are funny sometimes," Dawn agreed with Spike. "Of course, if he would have told us a little earlier, the fight would have been over before it began. Oh well."

Spike heard Willow's voice whispering inside his head, {Spike, look at Xander. He's wiped out. Why don't you take him home? Get him into a nice hot bath.} Spike sent her an image of himself and Xander making love in a steamy bubble bath. {SPIKE!! Keep your smutty images out of my head.} He winked at her and sent a mental image of himself, Xander, Buffy and her all fucking in the large shower of his and Xander's apartment. Willow started breathing heavily and got very flushed. "Xan-luv, what say we go home?" Xander nodded, sleepily and they left. He was finally coming down from his caffeine high.


"Mmmmm… right there, Spike," Xander moaned as his lover massaged oil into the muscles of his back. They had just had a nice, leisurely bath and Spike decided to relax all the tight muscles in his mate before making love. They made love for hours until Xander had absolutely no energy left and fell asleep in Spike's arms. Spike, on the other hand, could not sleep. His earlier conversation with Willow was still weighing heavily on his mind. He couldn't shake the helpless feeling he had. Cursing to himself, he finally decided that he needed to talk to Angel. Maybe there was something he could do to help. {Bloody Hell!}

Part 5

"I don't know what to tell you, Childe," Angel's voice floated through the phone. "A part of me wants to lash out at you the way you lashed out at me because of the soul, and part of me wants to cradle you in my arms and soothe away your pain."

"Think you'd have to deal with Xan if you went with the cradling," Spike laughed. "He tends to get rather protective." The two vampires had been talking for hours. Spike explained the details of his trials before the demon in Africa. Angel admitted that he was jealous of his Childe, jealous of his ability to be truly happy without losing the soul. Eventually, Spike got around to telling Angel about his feelings of helplessness.

"That's true enough. Harris always was protective of his loved ones." Angel was relieved that Spike had found someone who could love him completely. He knew that for as long as Xander lived, he would, at the very least, care deeply for Spike. The young man had become extremely loyal to his lovers after the incident with Cordelia in high school. In fact, the two often talked and e-mailed each other. Angel also knew that even though Anya was no longer around, he still cared a great deal for her well-being. He even kept in contact with Faith in prison, and she tried to kill him during sex.

"Look, I just feel helpless," Spike sighed into the phone. "Xan doesn't have to work anymore because I've enough money to keep up living high class for a long time, but he continues to go every day, even though it wears him out. He goes slaying at least twice a week. I go with him when I can, but sometimes he goes during the day and I'm stuck here." He unconsciously let out a low, rumbling growl. "Help me, Sire. Tell me what to do."

"William," Angel whispered, running his hand down his face. "Maybe you need to focus some of your boundless energy toward something totally unrelated to Xander. I know you help Buffy out a lot already, so maybe you should get a job."

"A job," Spike repeated with slight wonder. "That might be a good idea. Night clerks don't last too long around here due to the demons, so there are always openings. Ooh, I heard Willy finally snapped and got the hell out of Dodge. Bet they could use a new bartender. Bugger, no, that won't work. Demons don't trust me much anymore. I'd have no customers. Liquor store is a possibility though, or the pet store. Then I could get a discount on rats for Daisy."

"Daisy? What have you done, Childe," Angel asked worriedly.

Spike chuckled, "Don't go worrying that great noggin of yours, Peaches. Daisy is our pet snake. Seven foot long Red-tailed boa. She's beautiful."

"Bet she scares the hell out of the Scoobies," Angel's laugh boomed through the receiver. "What did Buffy and Willow say when they first saw her?"

"Actually, they were pretty OK with her." Spike's tone got eerily evil, "Xan's da though, he wet himself when he saw her in the liquor store. 'Course, could've had something to do with the fact that I let her crawl on his shoulder, then told her she couldn't eat him." Both vampires laughed heartily at the torment of Tony Harris. The man was slime, but he was also human, so neither soulled vampire would harm him. Buffy wouldn't harm him. The only person that would cause any harm to him would be himself, drinking himself to death.

The two talked for a while longer, catching up and sharing stories of temptation. Temptation to feed off humans and generally behave like vampires. Finally, Spike noticed the time, realizing that Xander would be home soon. They said their goodbyes and Spike actually thanked Angel for the conversation and advice.


"Xan, Luv," Spike whispered, nibbling on his lover's ear. "Been thinking…" His voice trailed off as Xander slipped his hand down the back of Spike's unbelievably tight jeans. He moaned softly at the feel of warmth spreading across his ass. "Gods, I love it when you do that," he murmured, losing his train of thought.

"Been wanting you all day, Spike," Xander breathed. "I kept thinking about your cool fingers gliding all over my body. Your lips on mine, then kissing down my neck. Your fangs clicking down, then sliding into your mark. Yeah, just like that." The brunet's breathing became ragged as the blond acted out his words exactly. "Oh, God! I want you inside me. I want you to make love to me long and hard, Spike."

Spike groaned around the flesh in his mouth. He took a small mouthful of the sweet blood of his mate before pulling his fangs out and licking the mark closed. His mate trembled at the soft lapping at his neck, so much so that Spike finally lifted him and carried Xander to the bedroom. "You want me, Luv? You need me?" Spike's voice was small.

Xander was pulled away from the near bliss by that small voice. He looked into the vampire's eyes, "Always, William, my love. Always," he whispered. He pulled Spike back to him, bringing their lips together with bruising, yet loving, force. Xander noticed Spike's need to take control in their lovemaking and let him. The blond carefully laid him down and undressed the brunet. He kissed and licked and nipped his way down the warm body, gently laving any of the minor cuts and scrapes from construction that lightly peppered the sun-bronzed skin. "Mmm… your mouth feels so good on my skin, Spike," Xander sighed.

A cool hand closed around his hard, heated cock as an equally cool tongue licked a trail to his puckered entrance. Spike circled his tongue around the tight hole, relaxing the muscle. He thrust in as far as he was allowed and wiggled his tongue. Xander squirmed and panted, relaxing as much as possible under the expert ministrations of his lover. Every tiny bit he relaxed, that wicked tongue wriggled in that much further. Spike's fist slowly stroked Xander's length, just fast enough to tease, but not so fast as to bring on his climax. When he couldn't reach his tongue in any farther, the blond replaced it with a slicked finger. Thrusting, stretching, twisting until Xander's hips thrust up as questing digits brushed across his gland.

"Want me?"


"Need me?"

"Gods, yes!"

"Love me?"

"Yes, with all that I am," Xander panted. He raised his head and looked into Spike's eyes. He recognized the desperate need to hear the words. "William, I love you. I love you so much, it hurts when I'm not near you. I love you." Spike withdrew his fingers and crawled up Xander's body. "I love the cocky, 'kill them all and let God sort them out' attitude and the hopelessly romantic poet and everything in between." He thrust his hips up to meet the vampire, who pressed his slick cock all the way inside with one thrust. "I love when you hold me in my sleep and when you kick me out of bed for snoring too loud." They began a slow rhythm, pressing in and pulling almost out, Spike's lips sucking gently on Xander's neck. "I love when we make love, just like this and when we fuck, fast and furious. I love you."

Tears rolled down Spike's cheeks. "Thank you," he whispered. "I love you too, Alexander. And they said I was the poet," he chucked. "You're so beautiful."

They made love until the next morning. Neither could count the number of orgasms they had, nor did they want to. One or one hundred, that night was not about climax, it was about love. Giving and receiving, needing to love and needing to be loved. For those few hours, Spike didn't feel helpless. With Xander, he had purpose. When they finally laid down for sleep, Xander gathered him in his arms and Spike forgot his feelings of uselessness for a while longer and slipped off into a dreamless sleep.

Part 6

"Obviously, you have no problem working nights?" Shake. "Can you start Thursday?" Nod. "Great, you're hired. What did you say your name was again?"

"William. William Harris. Most people just call me Will or Spike."

"Spike, huh," the store manager said, looking over Spike once again. "Well, just for business sake, I think we'll go with Will here." The vampire nodded, smiling as the manager grabbed some forms for him to fill out. "Just fill these out, standard application and tax forms." He paused for a moment and thought. "Wait, you have to work under the table, don't you? Not too many vampires as old as you have legal identities, do they?"

"Well, mate, I have a proposition for you," Spike said, leaning back on the counter. "Your average clerk makes, what, seven… eight dollars an hour? My shifts are about five hours. So, after taxes, it comes to about $25-30 a night, correct?" The manager nodded. "You let me have a bottle and a six pack of imported beer a night, not going over $30-35 retail, and we'll call it even. Then all you have to do is write it off as stolen or damaged. In this town, it wouldn't be surprising to have that much of a loss per night and having a master vampire on staff will actually keep the pilfering to a minimum."

"Deal. See you Thursday."


"Xand, Luv?" Spike waited for Xander to look up from the newspaper. "I got a job. Couple of nights a week at the liquor store where Daisy scared the piss out of your Dad." He was nervous telling his lover that he might have regular contact with the man's bastard father. Of course, if the pet store manager would have hired him, it wouldn't have been a problem.

"That's great, Spike," Xander beamed. "But, you well know that we don't need the money. Are you that bored here?" His smile faltered.

Spike looked stricken. He didn't want to hurt the man who gave him a reason to keep going. "Oh, Xand, no. Well, yes, kind of, but only in the 'I only get out of the house to slay my own kind' kind of way." He pulled the darker man to him and brushed their lips together lightly. "I could never be bored with you, us, our relationship. I love you too much for that. It's like, what would you do with yourself if you couldn't do your construction work?"

Xander thought for a moment. "Yeah, you're right. We all need something to do to keep from going stir-crazy." He stood and wrapped his arms around his lover's shoulders. "I'm happy you found something. Now, remember, soul or no, you don't like it, you don't feel safe, you can always quit. High turn-over is common among the night shift in Sunnydale. The businesses have come to expect it." Xander licked Spike's ear and down the column of his pale neck. The couple made love that night until the sun came up. Xander called in sick to the site and they made love all day.


Over the coming weeks, Spike's feelings of helplessness dissipated. He fell into a rhythm at work and made friends with his co-workers. Only one, Leah, suspected there was something different about him. She had graduated with Xander and was aware of the Hellmouth and the kinds of beings that existed in Sunnydale. Leah took a liking to him, once he told her about the soul. She liked that he and Xander had found each other and were happy. And, naturally, she made Spike do all the heavy work, like stocking to coolers, getting kegs for customers and unloading the rare night delivery. The manager tended to schedule Spike and Leah together, since they worked so well with each other. There was always blood and food in the cooler when they worked. They looked out for each other.

Xander loved the newfound happiness and pride in Spike. Everything the blond did was with a zeal the man hadn't seen in him in a long time. He knew it probably wouldn't last, living on the Hellmouth, but for the moment, everything was perfect. They were happy.

The End

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